Welcome back to the next instalment of the new blog series, which (I know I mentioned it in episodes 0 and 1), is inspired by the podcast titles from the Next Level Authors.
In this post, I’ll be discussing how I’m being kind to myself, not just in business life, but personal life as well.
To make it a bit easier, I’ve split this post into three different sections:
- Mindset
- Rejuvenation
- Permission
So, here we go:
Mindset
This one’s a constant fight. I try to focus on the things that’re important to me.
Things like family, work-life balance, and trying to not actively control things which aren’t in my direct sphere of influence.
The business mindset doesn’t come too hard for me. It’s the stuff in the day job that’s worst.
Mindset is hard, especially if you’re not neurotypical, or don’t have the life experience to understand how to act or think in certain situations. But the shift can come if you recognise what’s having a negative impact on you.
For example:
I used to want to please everyone. Both at work and in my personal life.
When someone used to have a go, from within an organisation or a customer, I used to go on the defensive, arguing my case and generally making the situation worse. I was younger, so convinced I was right, damn it, and no-one was gonna tell me otherwise.
Now, I brush it off.
And not because I hit the big 3-0 a few years back (shudder, tries to forget minor existential crisis of that time).
No, because it’s just, not, important.
Want to come and shout? Fine. Have a go. That’s cool.
You want to complain? Fine, here’s the link, you’re well within your rights.
But please don’t think you’re going to get an angry response anymore. You’ve already made your mind up about what you’re going to do, me pleading with you isn’t going to change anything. It’s important to you, I understand that, but it’s not for me.
What is important, however, is changing that “I must please everyone”.
I’m putting more effort into what will give me alllll the feels and help take my mindset to the next level.
Which leads me nicely onto…
Rejuvenation
Right now, dear reader, I’m talking about things that help settle the swirling miasma of my mind, and bring me back to “what can I do that brings me joy?”
As I mentioned before, writing like this, makes me happy. So does reading, and recently, learning how to crochet. Sewing, drawing, walking, anything to do with creativity. Activities that give my mind a rest and calm me down.
For a business owner and creative entrepreneur, it’s hard to draw yourself away from your company. It’s your baby, you’ve created something from scratch, and you want it to succeed.
But burn out, that evil, slobbering, mutated demon, is real.
And, it, sucks.
Big time.
I think I was close to burn out at the end of 2022. It wasn’t a great time. I don’t really like thinking about it, but I did. I had to recognise that I was forcing too much of my energy into outputting, rather than refilling.
So now, I take the time to either read, do something like this, or just watch a few episodes of whatever’s on the Top 10 on Netflix, at the end of the day.
Sometimes I’ll even just pick up the crochet needles, do a few stitches, realise I’ve done it wrong and put it aside. That simple task helps me focus, and give myself a few seconds to just, breathe.
But occasionally, very occasionally, my mind rebels. I should be working, I should be pushing the business forward, if I’m not doing that I’m failing. Right?
Wrong.
Should, isn’t a thing. Well, it is, but you understand what I’m getting at, yeah?
So, onto the last point.
Permission
Despite everything I’ve ever believed, I am (unfortunately) not a wizard, a robot, or some kind of superhuman beast who can machine through life without thinking about energy levels, rejuvenation, or mindset.
No.
The last, and in my opinion, most important section of this post, is that I give myself permission.
Permission to stop.
Permission to rant.
Permission to eat that sodding cake and goddamn enjoy it.
Because if I can’t give myself that right, the opportunity to enjoy myself, then what else is there?
Work is hard, and it’s even harder when it’s something you love. You keep going, because it just feels right. It’s a fire, burning bright, but we all know what fire does when it rages out of control.
Like I said, burnout is real, and unless you’ve experienced it, you don’t know when it’s going to hit, and if you keep pushing yourself, you’ll break. It’ll take weeks, months or even years, to get back to where you were before.
If you ever do.
So, if there’s one thing you take away from this post, it’s these three words (and please repeat after me):
“I have permission…”
Once you’ve done that, insert whatever the hell it is you want to do.
Have a bath. Go for it. Put your music in and scream at the top of your lungs. Rock on.
Tell someone to shut the hell up and let you read your book, I’m there with you, along with a loud librarian “shh” for good measure.
I have permission, and you do to.
In summary
Those three things are how I’m being kind to myself. The first section sounds ranty and horrible. I admit that. But it’s where I’m at right now. That might change in the future, but at the time of writing, I must put myself first.
Looking at your mental and physical well-being is one of the most important things we can do as humans. Without it, we grind to a halt. Our lives suffer, and those closest do too.
So, my question to you, is how are you being kind to yourself?
I’d love to hear from you, so reach out in the comments below, give the blog a follow, or sign up to my writing newsletter.
Look forward to speaking to you soon!
Robyn
